Bullying isn't just "bad behavior"—it's a sign that something deeper is happening in a child's world. When a child bullies, they may not fully understand the consequences of their actions. Let’s gently peel back the layers and understand why children bully, so we can support them with compassion and create safer, kinder spaces for all 🌈🧒🏻👧🏽.
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1️⃣ Seeking Power or Control 🕹️
Children who feel powerless in certain areas of life—like at home or in friendships—may try to gain a sense of control by dominating others.
👧 “If I can’t control what happens at home, at least I can control others at school.”
💡 What they really need: A safe space to feel heard and empowered.
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2️⃣ Imitating Behavior Around Them 👀
Children are incredible observers. If they see aggression, sarcasm, or teasing in adults, media, or older peers, they might copy it—thinking it's normal or even "cool."
📺 “Everyone laughs when the villain wins. Maybe that’s how I get attention too.”
💡 What they really need: Positive role models and guidance.
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3️⃣ Trying to Fit In 👯
Sometimes bullying is a misguided attempt to belong to a group or impress peers. The fear of being excluded can push a child to act out against others.
🗣️ “If I tease that kid, maybe the popular kids will like me.”
💡 What they really need: Encouragement to build authentic, kind friendships.
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4️⃣ Unmet Emotional Needs 💔
A child who is neglected emotionally may lash out, seeking attention—even if it’s negative. They may not know healthier ways to express loneliness, anger, or sadness.
😔 “When I act out, at least someone notices me.”
💡 What they really need: Emotional nurturing and validation.
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5️⃣ Low Self-Esteem 😟
Children with poor self-worth might put others down to feel better about themselves. It becomes a coping mechanism, not just cruelty.
🧠 “If I call him weak, I feel strong.”
💡 What they really need: Confidence-building and self-love practices.
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🌱 How Can We Help?
🔹 Model empathy at home and school
🔹 Encourage open communication without judgment
🔹 Praise positive behavior and kindness
🔹 Set clear, consistent boundaries
🔹 Offer counselling support when needed
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💬 A Gentle Reminder
A child who bullies is not a "bad kid." They are a child in pain, confusion, or need. When we respond with understanding—not punishment alone—we plant the seeds of change. Let’s help all children learn better, choose better, and be better 🌷🫶.
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✨ With warmth and care,
Santasa Counselling
Healing hearts, one child at a time 💖👨👩👧👦
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