🌼 It’s Okay to Be Not Okay 🌼

We live in a world where everyone looks happy and successful all the time. Social media shows smiling faces, achievements, and “perfect” lives. When we feel sad, tired, or confused, we may think something is wrong with us. But the truth is simple and important: it’s okay to be not okay 💛. Feeling low sometimes is a normal part of being human.

Our mental health matters just as much as our physical health 🧠. When our body is hurt, we rest. In the same way, when our mind feels heavy, it needs care too. Feeling anxious, stressed, or unhappy does not mean you are weak. It means you are human. Accepting your feelings is the first step toward healing and self-care 🌱.

Talking about how you feel can really help 🤍. Saying “I’m not okay” is not easy, but it is brave. You don’t always need advice or answers—sometimes you just need someone to listen. Sharing your feelings with a friend, family member, or even writing them down can make your heart feel lighter. This is how mental health awareness grows.

Being not okay does not mean things will stay bad forever 🌈. Hard days come and go. Life has ups and downs, and that’s normal. Some days you move forward, and some days you just rest—and both are okay. Be kind to yourself, take small steps, and practice self-love whenever you can 💫.

So if today feels difficult, take a deep breath. It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to ask for help 🌸. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Remember, you are not alone, and you are doing the best you can—and that is enough. 💙

✨ Santasa’s Magic Hug ✨

Aru was a little child with very big feelings. Some days Aru laughed loudly, and some days the feelings felt too heavy. One evening, when it was time to sleep, Aru shouted “No!” and threw toys on the floor.

Santasa came and sat beside Aru. Santasa did not scold or hurry. In a soft voice, Santasa asked, “Is your heart feeling heavy today?” Aru nodded and said their tummy felt funny and tight.

Santasa opened their arms and gave Aru a slow, warm hug. Not a tight hug, not a rushed one—just a calm, magic hug. Aru’s breathing slowed, and the angry feeling began to melt away.

“Big feelings need kindness,” Santasa whispered. “When we sit with them, they become gentle.” Santasa then showed Aru how to breathe in slowly and breathe out slowly, like blowing a bubble.

Inside Aru’s heart, a tiny star began to glow. “That star is always with you,” Santasa said. “You can find it whenever feelings feel too big.”

Aru climbed into bed feeling safe and calm. The toys were still on the floor, but the heart was peaceful. Santasa smiled and whispered, “First we connect. Then we correct.”

And with that, Aru fell asleep, wrapped in Santasa’s quiet magic. 🌙✨

🌼 Before Scolding, Try Holding 🤍Signs Your Child Needs Connection, Not Correction

In many Indian homes, parenting is rooted in love, protection, and strong values. We want our children to be well-behaved, respectful, and successful. So when a child cries, talks back, or refuses to listen, our instinct is often to correct immediately—through scolding, threats, or comparisons.

But very often, what looks like misbehavior is actually a child asking for connection.

Children—whether toddlers or teenagers—behave better when they feel safe, heard, and emotionally connected. This blog brings together gentle parenting ideas, adapted specially for Indian families, in simple language.

🌱 Connection Over Correction: What It Really Means

Connection means emotional closeness—listening, comforting, and understanding.

Correction means teaching rules, discipline, and values.

In Indian parenting, correction usually comes first.

But children learn best when connection comes first.

👉 Calm the child first.

👉 Teach the lesson later.

👶 Toddlers (0–5 Years): Big Feelings in Small Bodies

Toddlers are not stubborn or naughty. Their brains are still developing, and they don’t yet have words for their emotions.

😭 Crying and Tantrums

Crying is communication. It means “I’m overwhelmed”.

Instead of:

“Stop crying”

“I’ll give you something to cry about”

Try:

Holding them close

Saying softly: “It’s okay. Amma/Appa is here.”

Waiting until they calm down

🧸 Clinginess and Wanting You All the Time

Many Indian parents worry this will “spoil” the child.

But clinginess means your child feels safe with you.

What helps:

Hugs and reassurance

Predictable routines

Gentle goodbyes

Security builds independence later.

🚫 Hitting, Biting, or Throwing Things

This is common at this age and does not mean the child is bad.

Instead of shouting or hitting back:

Stop the action calmly

Say: “Hitting hurts. Hands are for love.”

Show the correct behavior again and again

🧑‍🎓 Teens (10–18 Years): Silent Struggles Behind Attitude

Teenagers face pressure from studies, expectations, relatives, and society. Many don’t know how to express stress or confusion.

😶 Silence, Withdrawal, or Staying in Their Room

This is often emotional overload, not disrespect.

What helps:

Gentle check-ins

Sitting with them without forcing conversation

Letting them know you’re available anytime

😠 Anger, Talking Back, or Eye Rolls

Anger is often a cover for fear, stress, or self-doubt.

Instead of reacting immediately:

Pause and lower your voice

Listen fully before advising

Avoid comparisons with siblings, cousins, or neighbours

📉 Drop in Marks or Motivation

In Indian homes, marks often become the main focus.

But a fall in performance often means the child is overwhelmed, not careless.

Try this first:

Ask: “Are you okay?”

Reassure them that your love is not based on results

Support before pushing

🏡 Indian Family Reality: Elders, Advice & Pressure

In joint families, children receive many instructions—from parents, grandparents, and relatives.

As parents, you can:

Be your child’s emotional safe place

Explain gently to elders why emotional support matters

Balance respect for elders with your child’s emotional needs

🌈 The Simple Rule Every Parent Can Remember

Connection first. Correction later. Always.

When a child feels:

Safe 🫶

Heard 👂

Loved ❤️

Good behavior follows naturally.

🌟 A Gentle Reminder for Indian Parents

You don’t need perfect parenting methods.

You don’t need to copy anyone else.

Your calm voice, your patience, and your presence matter more than strict rules.

Years later, your child may forget what you scolded them for—but they will always remember how you made them feel.

💛 Before scolding, try holding.

Emotional Intelligence in Kids: Building Strong Minds and Kind Hearts

🌱 In today’s fast-moving world, academic success alone is not enough for a child to thrive. What truly helps children grow into confident, resilient, and compassionate adults is emotional intelligence—the ability to understand, express, and manage emotions in healthy ways.

At Santasa Counselling, we believe emotional intelligence (EI) is a life skill that can be gently nurtured from an early age.

💛 What Is Emotional Intelligence in Kids?

Emotional intelligence in children refers to their ability to:

Recognize their own emotions (such as happiness, anger, fear, or sadness)

Understand why they feel a certain way

Manage emotions appropriately, even during challenges

Empathize with others and understand how others might feel

Build healthy relationships through communication and cooperation

Children with strong emotional intelligence don’t suppress emotions—they learn how to handle them.

🧠 Why Emotional Intelligence Matters

Emotionally intelligent children tend to:

Cope better with stress and change

Show improved focus and learning in school

Communicate their needs clearly

Develop empathy and kindness

Build self-confidence and resilience

Research and counselling experience both show that EI is a strong predictor of mental well-being and long-term success.

🌈 How Emotional Intelligence Develops

Emotional intelligence doesn’t appear overnight. It grows through:

Secure relationships with parents and caregivers

Healthy emotional modelling by adults

Safe spaces where children can express feelings without judgment

Guidance, not punishment, during emotional outbursts

Every emotion—pleasant or uncomfortable—is an opportunity for learning.

👩‍👧 How Parents and Caregivers Can Support 

Here are a few simple but powerful ways to support your child’s emotional growth:

Name emotions: “I see you’re feeling upset” helps children build emotional vocabulary

Validate feelings: Acknowledge emotions even when correcting behavior

Encourage expression: Through conversation, art, or play

Teach problem-solving: Help children think through solutions calmly

Practice empathy: Ask questions like, “How do you think your friend felt?”

🌼 The Role of Counselling in Emotional Development

Sometimes, children struggle with emotions they don’t yet know how to handle—anxiety, anger, low self-esteem, or social difficulties.

Child-focused counselling provides a safe, supportive environment where children can explore emotions, learn coping skills, and feel understood.

At Santasa Counselling, we work closely with both children and parents to strengthen emotional awareness, regulation, and connection.

✨ Final Thoughts

Emotional intelligence is not about raising “perfect” children—it’s about raising emotionally aware, resilient, and compassionate human beings. When children learn to understand their inner world, they are better equipped to face the outer one.

If you’d like to support your child’s emotional well-being, early guidance can make a lifelong difference.

Santasa Counselling – nurturing emotional strength, one child at a time.

🌱 Little Eyes, Lifelong Lessons

Children learn far more from what they observe than from what they are told. In the everyday moments of family life—during stress, joy, conflict, and calm—parents are constantly shaping their child’s emotional world. Every reaction, choice, and habit quietly becomes a lesson that children carry into adulthood.

At Santasa Counselling, we see again and again that parents are a child’s first role models. Long before teachers, friends, or society influence them, children absorb how to manage emotions, handle challenges, and relate to others simply by watching the adults closest to them.

How parents respond to anger, frustration, or fear teaches children how to regulate their own emotions. A calm, thoughtful response helps children feel safe and understood, while frequent outbursts or avoidance can leave them confused about their feelings. Similarly, the way parents handle mistakes and failures shapes whether children grow up fearing errors or seeing them as opportunities to learn and grow.

Daily interactions matter deeply. The respect shown to strangers, helpers, and neighbours becomes a child’s understanding of kindness and empathy. When parents stand up for themselves and others with dignity, children learn about boundaries, courage, and fairness. When parents apologise sincerely and accept being wrong, children learn humility, accountability, and emotional strength.

Children also learn problem-solving by observing how parents face difficulties. Approaching challenges with patience and openness helps children build confidence in their own abilities. When parents ask for help without shame, children understand that seeking support is healthy and human, not a sign of weakness.

Self-care is another powerful lesson. How parents care for their physical and emotional wellbeing teaches children whether rest, balance, and self-respect are important. The way disagreements are handled at home shapes how children view conflict—either as something frightening or as something that can be managed respectfully through communication.

Parents also influence how children relate to differences in opinions, beliefs, and preferences. Acceptance and openness nurture tolerance and empathy, while rigid judgment can limit emotional growth. Listening attentively to others teaches children the value of being heard and hearing others in return.

Even seemingly small actions leave lasting impressions. Kindness toward animals fosters compassion, while everyday choices about cleanliness, conservation, and responsibility shape a child’s relationship with their environment.

At Santasa Counselling, we remind parents that perfection is not the goal. Children do not need flawless parents; they need parents who are aware, willing to reflect, and open to growth. Moments of repair, apology, and learning often teach more than getting everything right.

Parenting is not about raising obedient children—it is about raising emotionally healthy adults. Each day offers a new opportunity to model patience, resilience, kindness, and self-awareness. Small, mindful changes today can shape a child’s wellbeing for a lifetime.

With care and commitment,

Santasa Counselling 🌼

🌿 Healing from Within: How Self-Compassion Helps Mental HealthBy Keerthi, Santasa Counselling

In today’s busy world, we often push ourselves very hard. We try to do everything perfectly and get upset when we make mistakes. But healing starts when we learn to be kind to ourselves — just like we would be kind to a close friend.

💫 What Is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion means showing kindness, care, and understanding to yourself, especially when you are struggling. It is not about feeling sorry for yourself or ignoring your problems.

According to psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion has three main parts:

Self-kindness – Be gentle with yourself instead of being harsh or critical.

Common humanity – Remember that everyone makes mistakes and feels pain. You are not alone.

Mindfulness – Be aware of your feelings without judging them. Just notice what you feel.

🧠 Why It’s Important for Mental Health

When we constantly blame or criticize ourselves, our body stays in stress mode. We feel anxious, tired, or sad. But when we treat ourselves with care, our mind and body begin to relax.

In counselling, I often see people start to feel better when they learn to talk kindly to themselves. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting your pain — it means learning to hold it gently.

🌸 Simple Ways to Practice Self-Compassion

Here are a few small steps you can try:

Notice your self-talk. When you think something mean about yourself, stop and ask, “Would I say this to someone I love?”

Be honest with your feelings. It’s okay to say, “This is really hard for me right now.”

Say kind words to yourself. You can try saying, “I’m doing my best,” or “May I be kind to myself.”

Celebrate small wins. Healing takes time. Every small step matters.

🌻 How It Helps Your Life

When you are kind to yourself, you become calmer and more caring toward others too. Your relationships improve, and you handle stress better. Self-compassion doesn’t remove pain, but it changes how you deal with it.

🌿 Final Thoughts

Healing from within starts when you decide to treat yourself with love and patience. You don’t have to be perfect — you just have to be gentle with yourself.

At Santasa Counselling, we believe that learning to care for yourself is one of the most powerful ways to heal.

💖 The Evolving Bond: How Sibling Relationships Change Over Time

Siblings — they’re often our first friends, our fiercest rivals, and our lifelong companions. The bond between brothers and sisters is one of the most powerful, complex, and enduring relationships we’ll ever experience. But as we grow, so does that bond. What once began with playful fights and shared secrets transforms into mutual respect, deep understanding, and emotional connection.

In this post, we’ll explore how sibling relationships evolve through different stages of life — from childhood chaos to the calm of adulthood — and why these bonds remain some of the most meaningful in our lives.

👶 Childhood: The Beginning of Love and Rivalry

In childhood, sibling relationships are built on closeness — sometimes too much closeness. You share toys, parents’ attention, and maybe even a bedroom. It’s a time filled with laughter, competition, and a constant tug-of-war for space and identity.

Shared Space, Shared Battles: Fights over the TV remote or the front seat might seem silly, but they’re early lessons in negotiation and empathy.

Allies and Rivals: Siblings are our first competition and our first teammates. You might bicker endlessly, yet come together instantly when facing an “outside threat” (like strict parents or babysitters!).

Shaping Identity: Those family labels — “the responsible one,” “the funny one,” “the youngest” — help shape who we become, even if we outgrow them later.

✨ These early experiences teach us connection, resilience, and the foundations of lifelong love.

🧑‍🎓 Adolescence & Early Adulthood: The Distance That Brings Closeness

As we grow into our teens, independence becomes the focus. The once inseparable duo now starts to drift — not out of love, but out of growth.

The Need for Space: Teenagers crave individuality. You want your own friends, your own world — and that’s natural.

Physical Distance, Emotional Growth: Moving away for college or starting a job often reduces friction. Without the daily squabbles, you begin to appreciate your sibling for who they truly are.

Newfound Equality: The old hierarchy of “older vs. younger” begins to fade. You start turning to each other for advice, laughter, and support — as equals.

💬 The sibling bond starts maturing here — transforming from dependence to understanding.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Adulthood: A Relationship of Choice

Adulthood often brings the most profound evolution in sibling relationships. Life becomes busier — careers, partners, and responsibilities pile up — yet siblings remain the thread connecting us to our roots.

Shared Milestones: From weddings to parenthood to caring for aging parents, siblings stand beside us through every major life event.

Keepers of History: They remember our childhood stories, our family quirks, and the inside jokes no one else understands.

Choosing Connection: Unlike childhood, closeness now requires effort. You text, call, or visit — not because you have to, but because you want to.

🌿 In adulthood, sibling bonds become a comforting choice — one grounded in love, respect, and shared history.

🌟 The Golden Years: The Comfort of Shared Memories

As the years pass, the sibling bond becomes an anchor — a quiet, steady reminder of where we came from.

Looking Back Together: Siblings are the only people who truly understand every chapter of your life. Together, you revisit memories, laughter, and lessons that shaped who you are.

Unbreakable Connection: Old rivalries turn into fond stories, and what remains is a deep, unconditional love built over decades.

💖 In the golden years, siblings become the living mirrors of our past and the gentle companions of our present.

❤️ The Takeaway: A Bond That Grows Stronger with Time

Sibling relationships are among the most enduring connections we’ll ever have. They may shift from rivalry to respect, from competition to companionship — but they always remain rooted in shared love and experience.

Whether you’re miles apart or just a phone call away, your siblings are your lifelong witnesses — the people who’ve seen you through every version of yourself. Cherish them, nurture that bond, and celebrate the incredible journey you’ve shared.

💬 What’s your sibling story?

How has your relationship evolved over the years? Share your memories in the comments — your story might just inspire someone else to reconnect.